Scribe's Announcements

Over the course of their Tenure as Cursed Scribe, Ser Jester has written many posts known only as Cursed Scribe Reports. These reports recap things that have happened within the nation of Secret Sleepover. Here is a record of every scribe post written to date, in chronological order (lines are separated out by bullet points, as the Scribe could not figure out how to make the Enter key work without making them blocks of text upon hitting Save).


 * 01/25/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * It was on this day, the twenty fifth of January in the year of our Bernie, two thousand and twenty one, that the user known as Makabee became known as Jeff. Jeff apparently had a lady-wife named Brenda who was cheating on him with his coworker by the name of Carl. Many of the users in the chat known as general attempted to help Jeff through this.
 * Makabee then became Carl, adding to the confusion from many of the users in the chat known as general.
 * As this scribe has noted, a killing may have been attempted by Jeff in order to remove his competition for his lady-wife's affections.     Makabee then also became Brenda, making more confusion.
 * The chat known as general has devolved into a few users continuing to converse with Makabee or Jeff or Carl or Brenda, though many of the users were simply confused at the endeavor. As of this scribing, the conversation is continuing, and shows no sign of stopping. The scribe hopes that this curse of Jeff ends soon, so that their own curse can be put to an end for the time being.


 * 03/04/21 - 03/05/21:
 * Here Ye Here
 * Ye The fourth and fifth of March in the year of our Hacker, two thousand and twenty one, shall heretofore not be referred to as such dates, but instead shall be known as the Doppelganger Days. On these days, an event struck the nations of Drawfee and Secret Sleepover Society that changed our history forever. In the beginning hours of the first of the two Doppelganger Days, Monarch Julia was replaced with an evil doppelganger. This doppelganger invited the citizens of Drawfee to their own land, a land of deception. Ser Draz recognized the doppelganger as not being our noble monarch, and attempted to relate this information to Monarch Jacob. However, the doppelganger noticed this, and ousted all Drawfee monarchs from their position, taking over the nation in its entirety.
 * Ser Draz notified the Yam Council of SSS that Monarch Julia was a doppelganger, immediately before the doppelganger used the nationwide notification system to invite the citizens of SSS to their own land of deception. The Sers of SSS denounced the doppelganger and forcibly removed them from the land to prevent more deceptions.
 * Ser Draz notified Ser Drew of the situation, and Ser Drew conversed with the doppelganger, convincing them to stop pretending to be Monarch Julia, whereupon Ser Draz privately notified Monarch Jacob of the situation. Monarch Julia gained access to her nation, but the doppelganger was still the sole monarch of the land. The doppelganger then said that they wished to give the monarchy back to Monarch Julia. Ser Draz convinced them to hand the monarchy over to them, as they are a Ser of the land, though the doppelganger was wary of deception, a situation that is rather ironic.
 * The doppelganger privately notified Ser Draz that they were nice for relinquishing the monarchy, a statement that makes no sense. Ser Draz gave the monarchy back to Monarch Julia, returning her properly to the nation. Monarch Julia then gave the monarch titles back to Monarch Jacob, Monarch Karina, Monarch David, and Monarch Nathan.
 * Ser Jamie awoke and read the logs of what happened that morning. Ser Jamie then went through the Drawfee nation records, noting those that were incorrect and needed changing. Ser Damien later joined Ser Jamie in going through the records. Monarch Karina and Ser Zappy also later joined, and attempted to fix issues that Monarch Karina was having. Monarch Karina discovered that the doppelganger had somehow defeated three of the local gods in battle: Drawficionado, Spicy Drawficionado, and Porfo. However, they were reformed stronger than ever.
 * Monarch Julia appeared again, and the Sers helped her fix other problems that had not been taken care of. Monarch Karina notified the Sers and other Monarchs that all of the damage the doppelganger did was only to the Drawfee nation, and that the doppelganger did no harm to their own personal communication circle. She suspected this was the case because she had continuously shared inspiring images made for men.
 * After Ser Draz gave Ser Jamie a recap, Monarch Karina gave Ser Jamie tickets to a play to allow them to calm down. Late into the night, Monarch Julia and the rest of the Sers continued to fix incorrect records. The next day, the fifth of March in the year of our Hacker, two thousand and twenty one, Monarch Julia shared an image of one of her feline companions as proof that she was not the doppelganger, and told the Monarchs and Sers of the ransom letter she had received from the doppelganger, who asked for fifty dollars in the denomination known as the Coin of Bit. After this, only the fixing of numerous records was required, and thus concluded the Doppelganger Days.


 * 03/22/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * On the 22nd of March in the year of our Blood God, two thousand and twenty one, it shall heretofore not be referred to as such a date, but instead as The Purge of Idleness. For it was on this day that Ser Roan pruned this land of those who had not been here for the time of 30 days or more. By this scribe’s count, two hundred and sixty eight citizens were removed from the nation. This shocked many residents, as it was very sudden. However, Pidge, the Server Cryptid, reveled in this, calling to “LET THEIR BLOOD FILL THE STREETS” and to “Kill them alllll.” A graveyard was considered to be built, but it was decided against, most likely because there were too many “bodies.” After a joke by Lilith, thus concluded the Purge of Idleness.


 * 04/07/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye,
 * On this day, the 7th of April, 2021, Tubs went on an adventure into an ancient forest and found many beautiful and powerful treasures
 * 11/02/21:
 * Here Ye, Here Ye
 * To the people of the land of Secret Sleepover
 * It is with deepest regrets that I must inform you that on this day, the 2nd of November in the year of our Drawfeeween 2021, one of the great aides to our community, Yui, has been lost to time. We know not if she shall return, and as such, we must presume her to be lost.
 * With this revelation, please welcome our new aide CarlBot. We are training him and getting him ready for his first day, so please be patient while we get him all set up in his office.
 * We send the deepest of condolences to the family of aide Yui. We hope she is found again soon.
 * Signed,
 * The Lord Moderators


 * 11/14/21:
 * Here ye here ye
 * On this day, the 14th of November in the Year of our Bowl, two thousand and twenty one, there was, in the stream-talk forum, a course of soup discourse, soup-course if you will.
 * Over the course of this soup-course, it was argued that:
 * Cereal is soup
 * Any liquid is soup
 * Soup may be whatever one wishes
 * Orange juice is soup
 * Pepto bismol is soup
 * Both hot and cold soups are valid
 * Bathwater is soup
 * "there is no universal definition of soup because it is one linguistic term for many intersecting cultural and conceptual ideas that forms more of a lawless umbrella than a rigid category" - kit is tired
 * If food is primarily a liquid, it is a soup. This includes water.
 * At some point, the conversation turned to cooking liquids. The scribe is unclear as to how this conversation ended, or what was concluded from it.
 * Soup can be cereal
 * Soup is like gay people
 * "if it has a cereal grain in it it is cereal. the grilled cheese you have with your tomato soup? cereal." - julian
 * "cereal = soup; grilled cheese = cereal; therefore grilled cheese = soup" - julian
 * "breakfast is only the first meal of a specific person's day. so technically if the first thing you eat in a day is a grilled cheese it's a breakfast cereal" - arizona
 * "soup is a social construct we made the foods we made the word there is nothing to stop us from tearing it all down" - kit is tired
 * "i would like to propose the age old argument: it all goes to the same place" - arizona
 * "all soup is just future piss" - julian
 * "you know we’re all born from the primordial soup and the way taxonomy works is you don’t evolve out of being the thing you came from so when you think about it people are also soup" - julian
 * "also milk is sweat" - julian
 * The conversation devolved into talking about fake documentaries, and thus concluded the soup-course

The Series of Great Binnings:


 * 12/16/20 (Ser Jester had not yet become a Lord Moderator at this point):
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * On this day, the 16th of december in the year of our Onech, two thousand and twenty, it shall heretofore not be referred to as such a date, but instead as The Great Binning
 * As it was on this day that many sins were committed in the chat known as general The lords of our land, known as the Moderators, had to slow our sinful discussions to only one message in a one hundred and twenty second period
 * Yet the citizens of this great land continued to be, as the Lord Moderators said, "Horny In Gen"


 * 03/18/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * On this day, the 18th of March in the year of our CATS 2019, two thousand and twenty one, it shall heretofore not be referred to as such a date, but instead as The Great Binning 2: Electric Boogaloo: Emoji Edition.
 * As it was on this day that many sins were committed in the chat known as the Council of Nitvib Yams.
 * For it started when Counciler Lem posted two emotes of sorts that looked vaguely like a dick and some tiddies respectively. The chat known as the Council of Nitvib Yams devolved quickly, with many being sent to the Bin of Sins and Hell of Sins for their crimes.
 * Only one got the blackened name without going to the Hell of Sins; Pidge, the Server Cryptid.
 * Many more sort of emotes continued to be posted, continuing the legacy of the original that started this day.
 * After Counciler Lem was made to go eat sustenance, thus concluded The Great Binning 2: Electric Boogaloo: Emoji Edition


 * 03/30/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * On this day, the 30th of March in the year of our Ever Given, two thousand and twenty one, it shall heretofore not be referred to as such a date, but instead as The Great Binning 3: The Threequel: Hell Edition.
 * As it was on this day that many sins were committed in the chat known as the Council of Nitvib Yams.
 * For it started when Ser Arthur of the Seven Knight Coat Lizards stated that the popular food spread known as mayonnaise was, in fact, goblin cum. Several Councilors immediately pushed against this. For this, Ser Arthur was thrown into the deepest dungeon known as the Hell of Sins for their crimes.
 * Quite soon afterwards, Councilor Lem stated that he uses his “daddy’s mayo” for tomato sandwiches when he is at his parent’s residence. For this, Councilor Lem was also thrown into the Hell of Sins dungeon.
 * Later this day, Councilor Maka commented that Councilor Lem loves “daddy’s goblin cum,” which, understandably, got them thrown into the lesser dungeon known as the Bin of Sins.
 * Not an hour later, Councilor Stin mentioned that someone could “tinder date Stranger Then Friction” which caused them to be thrown into the Hell of Sins dungeon for his crime.
 * Though the records are difficult to parse, about 2 hours later Councilor Eden stated that Ser Arthur should “let them eat cum” which of course prompted them to be thrown into the Bin of Sins.
 * As of this record, thus concludes The Great Binning 3: The Threequel: Hell Edition. May the Ever Given shine upon us, and may the Hell and Bin of Sins never be as occupied.
 * 12/24/21:
 * Here Ye Here Ye
 * On this day, the 24th of December in the year of our Sinmas, two thousand and twenty one, truly so many things happened.
 * However, it shall heretofore not be referred to as such a date, but instead as The Great Binning 4: One Bin Til Christmas: The Arthur Corruption Arc Edition
 * A total of 16 people were thrown into the dungeon of the Bin of Sins, and Ser Arthur became the devil, amongst other things.
 * It started with a simple mix up of the name Jack Black into the name Black Jack, and it descended into madness from there.
 * The incidents herein took place in the chat known as General.
 * Because of the name mix up, which was considered lying, citizen Mari was thrown into the Bin of Sins.
 * The Board of Pinned Messages grew full, as statements began to be added rapidly, to the point where they later had to be taken down to be archived properly in the Hall of Quotes Tome.
 * People then began to try to get thrown into the Bin of Sins on purpose. As to why they wanted this, this is uncertain, but they wanted it nonetheless.
 * As the scribe came to the conversation quite late, the scribe is unsure as to when specific citizens were thrown into the Bin of Sins, as the records are not as detailed as to record it. However, some records have allowed the scribe to figure out why people were thrown into the bin of sins.
 * Citizen Cé was Binned for saying something but then deleting it. The scribe is unsure of the original statement.
 * Citizen Long said they wanted to fight God, which is of course, a sin.
 * Ser Arthur then said that "binning someone when yall chant bin is like being a roman emperor deciding the fate of a fallen gladiator based on the crowds cheering"
 * Ser Arie then joined the crowd, and though they were tired, helped Ser Arthur pin messages to the Board, and then moved them to the Tome.    Citizen Maka was then thrown into the Bin of Sins for reminding everyone of a horrible moment in the Lord of the Rings play series, when a man bites into a small tomato really weirdly. It is extremely weird and bad.
 * Citizen Maka then proceded to leave the nation no less than twice, coming back each time, and being thrown into the Bin of Sins each time.     In dying and coming back, it was then determined that Citizen Maka is, of course, Jesus.
 * Ser Arthur then binned themself for saying something extremely gross.
 * Citizen Mel then said to Bin the entire Gen Chat, and so was thrown into the Bin, along with Citizens Pidge, Alicia, Bugs, Aria, and Sunny.     Some citizens then left, and all was well for a while. Until.
 * It was then decided that Ser Arthur was Lucifer, the devil to Maka's Jesus.
 * All was well once more until Ser Jester the Cursed Scribe mentioned that they had never been thrown into the Bin of Sins.
 * Ser Jester was then thrown into the Bin of Sins.
 * Citizen Lem was then Binned simply for being in the Chat.
 * As of this recording, thus concludes The Great Binning 4: One Bin Til Christmas: The Arthur Corruption Arc Edition